The Best Friends Anthology (A New City Story Book 5) Page 19

  Dressing on the landing, I made sure I had everything and left as quietly as I could. It was bitter, and I huddled into my jacket. I didn’t know Chadford that well, but I didn’t care. I just walked. Eventually, I found my way into the town centre and stopped for a bite to eat and caught up on my email. My phone buzzed in my hand with his name, and I rejected the call.

  I chewed my lip, feeling odd. It was wrong. My leg jiggled under the table, and I pushed away my half-eaten breakfast.

  I didn’t see him Monday morning and having a lot to do, I brushed it off even though I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I managed to get my shit together for a client interview.

  The elderly man invited me in when I got there. His house was dirty and untidy, and he was apologetic.

  “Don’t worry. I can bring a team in, we can do a deep clean, and then go from there.”

  I scheduled him in, and we chatted a little. When I left, I checked in on my teams and picked up some groceries.

  The quiet of my flat was starting to get to me. Will reminded me how lonely I was. I shut my laptop and seeing the clear day, I changed and went for a run. With each lungful of air and pounding step, I relived his kiss and touch. His fingers inside me, cock in my mouth, fuck, even how he held me as we slept. No matter how much I tried to focus, I couldn’t shake it.

  I started running to channel my frustration years ago. I did yoga, Pilates, spin class; I tried loads of things. Running and biking were my favourites. I was happy with my body, I didn’t care about the softer parts of me, but it was something to fill time and became a habit.

  I got to the park and jogged around the frosty bandstand and lake, and back along the ring road, skirting old Chadford and back through the streets. I was getting to know my new home, and I liked it. The sense of being detached was easing, and I knew I needed to make more friends.

  I couldn’t get Will out my thoughts. His smell and taste, his mouth, the skill of his fingers made me want him again. It was more than that, it was the way he was with me, how he spoke to me, how he wanted my pleasure more than his own. He’d made me so comfortable and relaxed.

  I stopped with my hands on my knees, cold air burning my lungs, and walked back.

  The scaffolding came into view, and I saw him. He adjusted his white hard hat, and noticed on the back, it said ‘boss’. He spotted me as he talked to a group of workers, and his face darkened before he turned away.

  I felt awful. He went to get in a van, and taking off his hard hat, he ran his hand through his hair.

  “Will.”

  He froze and leant on the door. “What?”

  “I’m sorry for how I left.” I closed the distance and spoke quietly. “I wasn’t sure… I didn’t know what to do. It was weird for me, not because of you but…” I raised a shoulder and sighed. “I’m just really sorry, and you deserve better.” I gave him a slight smile before backing away.

  He didn’t move or ease the annoyance on his face. I deserved it.

  After a shower, someone knocked on my door, and I answered.

  “I need to check the damage on your window.” Will’s cheeks were red, and he focused on the clipboard in his hand.

  “Of course.” I let him in and watched him go to the bay. He set down his work bag.

  He tested the damp and seals.

  “Tea?”

  “No, thank you.” He put down a sheet and scraped the old sealant and grout out.

  “Will.”

  He paused and turned. “What?”

  “I should have stayed.”

  “Not if you didn’t want to.” He chewed the inside of his cheek. “Listen, I thought for a moment that we really connected. I felt it, and if you don’t want anything, you could have just said. Sneaking out was cold.”

  “You’re right, it was.”

  “My instinct is to forgive you and try again, but I always end up getting hurt. I don’t know why. Sometimes I think I try too hard to find connections. I see them when they’re not there.”

  I approached. “I felt it. I opened up to you more than anyone in a long time, and you opened up to me, and that was precious and scary. I felt safe enough to go home with you. I’ve never done that. Can’t lie, I can’t stop thinking about that night. I didn’t want to be hurt either.”

  He nodded with his face intent on the carpet.

  “I’m not asking you to give me a second chance, but I do regret how I left it.”

  He lifted his eyes, wary and sad. I wanted to comfort him so much, the ache and pull to him was intense. He kept staring, and I took another step. Then another until his breath brushed my skin.

  Leaning forward, he swallowed. “I should finish the window,” he whispered.

  The pinch of desire pulled me in, and my lips were too close to his. “You should.” I kissed him.

  He moaned, and grabbed my clothes, holding me tight. I scrunched his hair up and pulled, tongue deep in his mouth, the smell of the cold winter day and fresh sweat, and it was the sexiest scent.

  The nearest surface was my desk, and he set me on it. I needed to feel his skin, and found my way under his layers and ran my fingers along his back, digging my nails in.

  He cried out and broke the kiss, catching his breath as he searched my eyes.

  “Best get your sealant out.”

  The serious wanting look melted, and his eyes sparkled until we giggled. He threw his head back, laughing and stepped back. I made us a drink and watched him work. There’s something strangely compelling about a man in work clothes using a sealant gun. He moved slow and steady, tidying it as he went.

  When he was done, he stood straight and turned. My eyes darted to the gun, which continued to ooze as he stared at me until it fell onto his hand.

  “That happen often?”

  “Wanna find out?” He smirked and capped the tube before cleaning up.

  As he washed his hands, I kept thinking about that night. Curled up with him with his taste on my tongue.

  “I have to be somewhere.” His phone rang on cue.

  “Of course.” I shook out of my lust.

  “Go out with me tomorrow.”

  “Yes.” I couldn’t have said no.

  “Pick you up at seven.”

  When I nodded, he kissed me in a hard but brief embrace. Then he was gone.

  My vibrator did the job but didn’t quite hit the mark. I needed that kind of orgasm again, long and deep and fulfilling.

  EAT ME

  Ceeli called me in tears, and I couldn’t get a word out of her. She knew I’d moved to Chadford, but we’d not spoken about it. Greg had told me she was angry with me for it with a smug smirk on his gob that I wanted to slap into next week.

  Seeing her face flash up on my phone was unexpected, and her sobbing made me think the worst.

  “Baby, breathe, where are you? Let me come to you.” I’d taken a nap after Will left, and I dressed as quick as possible, desperate to get to her.

  She hiccupped-sobbed, and my heart was in my feet.

  “Text you.”

  She ended the call, and I was already leaving when she texted me the address.

  I’d thrown on some sweats and a coat, and my mum mode came out in me. I didn’t know if I needed the police or a shovel, and no matter what was going on between us, she was my baby. She was my blood and woe betide anyone who hurt her.

  I tried to keep a level head as I drove into a rougher part of Chadford. I parked on a double yellow line, and banged so hard on the door, I thought it’d come off its hinges.

  Ceeli, tall and slender, with her hair a mess and mascara everywhere looked like death.

  I took her into my arms and held her so tight. I missed her so much, her smell and the feel of her in my arms. I bit on my lips so I wouldn’t cry and rocked her.

  “Okay, I got you. Can you talk?”

  She nodded and swallowed. “Brett…”

  “Who’s he?”

  “B
oyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.” I knew nothing about her life anymore.

  “What did he do?” Venom pulsed in my veins.

  “We were at a party, and he wanted to do coke, and I said no, and he shouted at me, and… had sex with someone else there. It was all so out of control.” Her lips trembled when she leant back.

  “How long have you known him?” I was going to kill him.

  She spoke so quietly, I barely heard her. “Last year, we met at the student union, but this year he changed when we moved in. He, he, met dad, and they got on, and I thought it was serious.”

  No, I was going to kill Greg. “This is Brett’s house?” My voice was flat and grim.

  “Student share with a few guys. When I left and came home, he said I could stay with one of them instead if they didn’t mind seconds.”

  I went cold. “Are you packed?”

  “Where will I go?”

  “To mine. Are you packed?”

  She shook her head. “I didn’t know what to do.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Sleeping it off.”

  “Show me.”

  Ceeli hesitated, her bloodshot eyes watery, but she led the way.

  The room was a mess, and she glanced at me. Only covered by half the duvet, he snored.

  “Pack now. Everything. Put it in the car.” I handed her the keys before she quietly gathered her stuff.

  I didn’t move but watched him. She picked up things, shoving them in cases and bags, and he didn’t stir. It didn’t take her long, she black bagged everything that didn’t fit in her cases and made several trips to the car.

  “I’m done.”

  “Go wait in the car.”

  “Mum.”

  “Do it now.” I didn’t take my eyes off the man in the bed.

  She went, and when I heard the door close, I went to the bathroom and found a plastic jug that smelt like piss and filled it with cold water.

  I threw it over him, and he sat up. “What the fuck?” he shouted. “Who the fuck?”

  I slapped him as hard as I could. “Listen to me you little bitch. I know what you are, and you come near Ceeli again, I will kill you. I know the best way to dispose of a body to get away with it. Do you believe me?”

  The boy swallowed clutching his face, reeking and wet.

  “If someone has the misfortune to be taken in by you again, you’ll not treat them like shit, or the next person that steps in might be less kind. Don’t be a cunt.”

  I left, shaking, and vicious. I joined Ceeli in the car and started it. She stared.

  “What did you say?”

  “Does it matter? The bitch is in his box.”

  I took her home. The spare room had nothing in it. “You’ll have to sleep with me tonight, and we’ll sort you something out until you get back on your feet.”

  She looked so dejected.

  “Go take a bath and I’ll make us dinner, okay?” While she put her things in the little bedroom, I tidied up and started cooking.

  We sat down an hour later and ate.

  “This is nice.” She looked around.

  “I like it.” I poured us a glass of wine. “How’s uni?”

  “This year isn’t going well.”

  I bit my tongue.

  “Say it, mum.”

  “A degree isn’t the total sum value of life but don’t let it be taken from you by the whim of another. Most people don’t have our best interests at heart.”

  “I’ve been horrible.”

  “Yes, and I’ve not been easy, and your dad’s a prick. We’re all even. No one person is a saint.”

  “I’ve wanted to get in touch for a while, but I didn’t know what to say.” She played with her food, and I reached over.

  “It’s okay. I’m glad you called me, and that I could be there.”

  She nodded, and we ate and then watched TV.

  Will texted me later, and I realised I should cancel our date.

  “Who’s that?”

  “Mind your own business.”

  “Is it a man?” She sounded astonished.

  “I’m not dead yet, you know.”

  “Who is he?”

  “No-one you know. We were going out tomorrow but, maybe it’s best if we don’t.”

  “Oh no, you have to go.” She grinned and drank her wine while she wiggled her eyebrows.

  “Fine.” I deleted my text and retyped it.

  ✽✽✽

  The noise of the work outside was abysmal, and I was attempting to focus on spreadsheets when Ceeli appeared.

  “Hey.” I slipped off my glasses.

  She just stared.

  “Class today?”

  “Uh, lecture this afternoon, and I have an essay due, I’ll go to the library to work and um, see student accommodation.”

  “You can stay as long as you need to.”

  “I know, thank you for everything. But this place is small, and I don’t want to cramp your style.”

  “When I have I ever had that?”

  “You’re stylish and beautiful.” She kissed my hair, and I blinked. She made coffee.

  “How do you feel?”

  “Sad. Angry.” She tapped her fingers on the work surface. “Afraid.”

  “You’ll be okay. Be honest with those you trust, but do not show him weakness. Men like that prey on it.”

  She set down my mug, kissing my hair. “I missed you.”

  I held her hand. “I missed you too.”

  When she was gone, someone started drilling into a wall outside, and I popped out to a furniture place and bought a flat pack click-clack bed settee and a few bits and managed to get it all in the car. Just.

  I put it together, and by tea time, I jumped in the shower.

  “Mum?” Ceeli shouted, slamming the door.

  “In here.” I was patting on primer, and she threw herself on the bed. “What’s up?”

  “Weird thing happened, well, lots happened.”

  I smiled a little at her in the mirror. I missed our chats. “First thing first.”

  “Student accommodation is run by a curmudgeon who is unmoved by tears, so I levelled with her and told her the truth, mostly. She gave me a few places, and I’m seeing two tomorrow.”

  “Good.”

  “Then I saw him.”

  I put my makeup sponge down and turned to her. “And?”

  “He ran away from me.”

  With a smirk, I swivelled back around.

  “What did you do?”

  “I did what someone should have done a long time ago. Boys get away with too much, their entitlement is rarely truly challenged.”

  “Dad would never have done that for me. He’d tried to justify his behaviour,” she mumbled, picking at a wrinkle in the duvet.

  I said nothing.

  “Who’s this guy?”

  I puffed out my cheeks. “Owns a building firm, a few years younger. Seems fun. Different.”

  “How?”

  “Decent. Cares about the wellbeing of others above himself. I think.”

  “Where are you going?”

  I put mascara on. “I don’t know, he said dinner. Dress nice.”

  Ceeli was forever in baggy jumpers and jeans, and she didn’t wear makeup but always had easy elegance. She rooted through my clothes. “This?” She showed me the dress I wore at the weekend.

  “I wore that already.”

  She found a too short navy-blue dress.

  “Too cold.” I sat back enjoying her interest.

  “This.” A burgundy off-the-shoulder long-sleeved top and a long pencil skirt.

  “Ooh, I like. Perfect.”

  “I love the way you dress, but I’m glad you never tried to force me into dresses and things.”

  “I tried to put you in a dress once for your cousin’s wedding. I think you were about four, and you screamed so loud, I never did it again.”

  She
laughed.

  I left my hair down and wore heels and was a bag of nerves.

  Ceeli answered the door before I could get to it. Will stepped in cautiously. No-one spoke for a second, and when he saw me, his mouth hung open.

  “You look lovely.”

  “Thank you. This is Ceeli.”

  They shook hands.

  “Well, you two kids have fun now.” She grinned at both of us.

  I gave Ceeli a flat look and kissed her cheek when I slipped on my coat, and Will took my hand.

  I looked back, and Ceeli gave me two thumbs up. For a startling moment, I felt like I’d hurtled off a cliff.

  SOMEONE TO LOVE

  Will frowned at me. “Are you okay?”

  I didn’t reply, and the cab ride was silent. He deflated next to me.

  When we arrived at the restaurant, we went in, but he hesitated. “We don’t have to do this.”

  Striding past, I went to the bar and found a seat while we waited for our table. He ordered drinks and slid into the small booth. The place was lamplit, dark panelling and red walls. I liked it.

  “Sometimes, it takes me a second to form my thoughts. I want to say this right.”

  Will sat back, folding his arms. His smart pale blue shirt highlighted his tan and blond streaks, the darker stubble on his jaw. He really was beautiful.

  I turned my glass and stared at the liquid in the hope it’d give me wisdom. “I’ve not had a particularly shitty deal. I’m very lucky and privileged. Yet my life isn’t what I hoped, but I think that’s true for many people. Sex and I guess my desire and sexuality are things I’ve not let myself consider. They’ve never been mine. They belonged to a man. I guess I let them be because it’s what was expected.

  “I’ve never fought for my desire. Things I want in terms I choose. Take you, for example. You’ve done nothing wrong and have been lovely to me, and yet I feel like I’m on the defensive. I’m looking at this in terms of cost. What will this cost me? What will the terms be? And I don’t really think that’s got anything to do with you as a person.”

  Will scowled and sipped his drink. “I’m not the pursuer. I don’t want a meek woman.”

  “No, but you pursue the sex you want. You say: this is my desire, do you want it? I’m not sure that’s what I want.” I tilted my head, the feeling still forming in my mind. “Though, I can’t imagine I’d feel comfortable enough to speak so openly to anyone else.”