The Best Friends Anthology (A New City Story Book 5) Page 3

  “I want to dive in. I’ve never done that. I have no idea what it looks like.”

  He leant back, assessing. We ordered and when alone again, he spoke softly.

  “Well, we’re here now, okay? Let’s just enjoy our company.”

  My stomach fell. This was probably going to be it. I knew that. I’d put up a wall, and he was respecting it. The memory of him fucking me flashed. The feel of his fingers biting into my skin, his mouth, cock, the things he said; all the sensations overwhelming me. Other things I couldn’t speak of followed.

  He talked about his life to fill the silence because I couldn’t speak.

  The momentum slipped away from us, and my mind kept reeling.

  I interrupted, stuttering a little, unable to gaze into those pretty blue eyes. “Look, I do want this, us. I really do. I don’t know how. I’m afraid.”

  He was silent for a moment. “Are you unsure about me or?”

  “No, not you. You’re so… lovely.”

  He pursed his lips to not grin.

  “I told you about who I am. I don’t do this.” I shrugged.

  “Then we take it slow.”

  “Slow.”

  After eating, he paid, and I wanted to go home with him. I stood closer, about to dig up some courage when he spoke.

  “Do you want to get a cab?”

  “Oh, sure.” I stepped back and rang one.

  We waited and made small talk until it arrived, and he gave me a quick kiss, and it was over.

  NEXT UP

  Adam went quiet, and it was my fault. He read my caution, and he was right to, I guess. He owed me nothing.

  Starting at lightspeed as a one-night thing couldn’t have gone well for anyone. I needed to get used to the fact my fear stopped us in our tracks when I knew it could’ve been amazing.

  I realised too late that was why I’d done it. Self-sabotage sometimes is the soul trying to protect itself from more harm. Letting him go, knowing that was going to be hard, and that alone told me that it was probably for the best.

  I was knitting a particularly difficult cardigan the following Saturday when the doorbell went.

  Anne, who was watering the plants, answered the door. I heard his voice and froze.

  Adam came in the living room, and our other housemate, Poppy, barrelled in from the kitchen and squeaked. The three of us gawked.

  Adam cleared his throat as he looked at each of us, finishing with me. “Fancy a walk?” He looked determined, and I wanted to throw up.

  I put my knitting down and nodded. He followed me upstairs because I needed to get dressed and fuzzy unicorn PJs are not sexy or appropriate. At all. I was mortified.

  “These are cute.” He tugged the hem of my shirt with a smirk as I closed the bedroom door.

  I didn’t speak.

  “You okay?” There was an edge to his voice.

  “Sit.”

  I pointed to a chair, and he went to it with a raised brow.

  “Look I don’t know why you’re here, I’ve not heard from you all week, and I know I was weird, I am weird and that made it weird so it’s clearly not going to work and you said I needed to choose and I don’t know how so what do you want.”

  He put his hands up. “Breathe.”

  I did.

  “I’m not ghosting you, I’m here, right?”

  “Please explain it then.” I pulled my top off with my back mostly to him, and his eyes glazed over as I glanced back.

  Clicking my fingers, he blinked.

  He smiled. “Sorry, you’re so delicious.”

  I blushed and pulled a bra on and a t-shirt — it may have been one that shows my tits to advantage, sometimes you gotta use what you have, I’m not sorry.

  He sighed, his mouth pulled down into a frown, and rested his elbows on his knees. “I am sorry. This is complicated. I meant everything I said about the lifestyle, but all I can think about is sharing it with you. What happened on our date showed me we need to go slow because there’s something up with you. Kink’s not something people immediately immerse themselves into, and you can’t seem to handle a simple date. That’s dangerous. One builds to it, education and training, you have to communicate openly, trust, and you can’t or won’t so far. That’s a red flag for me.”

  I sat on the bed, socks in hand. “Okay. That’s fair. I’ll tell you, I will. It’s not easy.”

  “All right. Look, you can ask me anything about me or the lifestyle. Tell me anything about you because I’ll never judge that.”

  I put my socks on, thinking about what he said. “Have you trained anyone before?”

  “Yes.”

  “It didn’t go well?”

  “At first. She came to me. We met at a club, and she was looking for a Master to train her properly. I thought maybe she was someone who I could be with. I ignored the little things that bothered me because she was a good sub.”

  Hence his caution, which was fair. “What happened?”

  His jaw flexed. “She left me. I don’t walk around like cock of the wall, thinking my shit doesn’t stink. I’m not above going after something, but I’m not the alpha wanker. Most of us aren’t really like that. But some believe their hype, and some people buy into it. I see her about, lording herself over others. She sees her status as competitive. I hate all that bullshit.”

  “Recently?”

  He pinned me with a stare. “No, more than a year. I’m not worried you’ll do that, but I’m worried you’ll decide it’s not what you want. And that’s valid. I’m not sure I can be in a relationship where it’s not a part of me. I thought I could. That the right person would be enough, but it’s who I am.” He blinked.

  I brushed my hair, shoved it into a ponytail, and grabbed my boots, knowing where I’d take him. “Let’s go.”

  I held my hand out to him, and he took it. I grabbed a few things from the kitchen, and we left the house, knowing we were being watched from the window.

  Pulling him along, I smiled, aiming for reassurance. It was a crisp, bright day, just the start of spring in the trees, and it was nice.

  He halted and held me close. “I missed you.”

  “I’m right here.” I nudged him away and dragged him away from town.

  I didn’t live far from the city centre, which is why we shared the house. It was expensive as hell. It always surprised me how near we lived to the country. A ten-minute walk and we were in fields. New-builds and development lay in the distance, but it was quiet.

  We said nothing as we found our way along hand in hand until he grew impatient. “Where are we going?”

  “Do you like horses?”

  “Um. Never really considered them.”

  “I used to ride as a girl. But city life isn’t that conducive to it. I love where I live because ta-da, there’s a paddock here with horses.”

  We turned off the main road and down a bridle lane. We crossed a stile and down the way was the paddock.

  Four horses grazed. Among them was a pretty chestnut mare.

  I clicked my tongue, and she noticed me and ambled over. From my bag, I pulled out an apple and offered it to the horse.

  She took it from my palm, her lips brushing me, and I stroked her muzzle.

  Adam was watching me. “You’re beautiful.”

  I turned to him, resting my elbows on the fence before climbing up and sitting on it. He joined me.

  The horse trotted off.

  “I thought I’d really fucked it up.”

  “No. I need to be cautious if you need to figure this out.”

  “I’ve been reading up. Blogs and things. There’s a lot of information, and I’m not sure what exactly to trust. But I think I’m starting to understand a little. What is it you want?” I kept my eyes on the horses.

  He was quiet for a minute, and the tension was thick. “We negotiate terms. Boundaries. Things I want, things you want. Or not want. We decide everything. We can always ren
egotiate, but it’s important to know exactly where we stand from the start. Then I physically train you and guide you emotionally. It’s a choice you make. It means trusting where I’ll take you and what that means for you. It’s powerful. And not something I take lightly.” Adam squinted at the sky.

  “It’s a lot.”

  He turned to me then, and the sadness was back in his eyes. “I feel intensely. The bond for me is almost painful. It’s as much emotional as physical and why I struggle. I can’t just do the physical. Part of me doesn’t want to feel so much. I always end up being hurt, and if we begin this, I’m terrified you’ll change your mind.”

  There were tears in his eyes. Tears.

  I kissed him. Just a press of lips, but he kissed me back.

  “I’ve thought about you a lot, everything we shared, everything that might be. I won’t live up to your expectations. I’ll freak out. I’ll manage to ruin it like everything else.” It was strange to be so open and forthright with a man I barely knew. But then it felt natural.

  I shifted one leg over the fence to face him, and he did the same. We held hands, and he fixed his stare at them with a little frown.

  “Tell me exactly.” I leant in making him look at me.

  He picked at the fence for a second. “Okay. I want control of your body. I want you to want that. Need it. I want to torment you, restrain you, hurt you. I want you to do what I say. To roleplay with me.”

  My heart pounded, and skin goosed, but my stomach gnawed. “I’d like to try it. All of it. But not weird-weird stuff. What do you mean roleplay?”

  The smirk on his face made my nipples hard.

  “Resistance. Brattish. You’re my prey, and I want to devour you.” He leant forward so our faces were close. “I want to take you to the sweet spot where you’re mine and pain is a pleasure, and you need me to own you.”

  For all my fear, how could I say no? “Yes.” My heart dipped.

  He cupped my face, fingers caressing, and kissed me. With his forehead on mine, we listened to the birds as a cool breeze folded around us.

  “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” I needed to try, be better, for him, and myself.

  PREPARATION

  My first physical session the next weekend filled me with dread as much as it did excited nerves. Sometimes you can talk all you want, but until you do a thing, you won’t know how to feel about it. That evening at his, after a nice meal and a lot of flirting, he took me upstairs. He stripped me roughly, but I got the giggles, so he kissed me hard until I moaned.

  “What are you going to do to me?”

  “With you.” He tipped my chin up with his finger. “Say it.”

  “With.”

  He’d sent me literature, blogs, fiction, all sorts to read up on, and made me ask him questions. It got easier, more relaxed, and I thought about the role he wanted to embrace, I was changing, I think, becoming a little more assured about the idea.

  “Good.” He pecked my lips. “I’m going to restrain you. Play with your arse.”

  I knew this, he’d graphically described over texts what he was going to do, and I’d come twice from them. “Please.”

  He pushed me onto the bed and secured my wrists to the posts with black rope pre-tied in easy release knots, on my front, legs sprawled and arse in the air. It felt nice. Tight and comforting, yet uncomfortable and thrilling.

  “How’s that feel?” Standing in front of me, he stripped, revealing his lovely body.

  With my chin resting on the bed, I devoured the image. “Good.”

  Smirking, he rounded back and sat behind me. I relaxed as he readied everything.

  “Let’s start slow and see how you react. I’ll only do something and react with you, but though I’m good at reading people, you must talk to me, remember the safe words, okay?”

  I nodded, and he massaged my cheeks and then between them with copious amounts of lube until I squirmed for him to do something.

  “Shall I put a finger in you?”

  Heat filled my face. He’d instructed me how to prepare, and I still felt squeamish about it, but at the same time, I was kinda into it.

  He wore black latex gloves, which I thought was a hygienic touch and a hot look.

  He squeezed a cheek as he spread them, and I took a deep breath. He eased his finger in, and I hissed. Can’t lie, that hurt.

  Pushing deeper, he went slowly. “How does that feel?”

  “Hurts a bit.”

  He grunted.

  Sweat prickled all over as he worked me. Going deeper, he held me still; his touch firm and deliberate. The glide of his finger when a second joined it surprised me.

  “You’re doing so well, beautiful.”

  I strained a little, panting.

  “The thing about pain is how high you can get when it’s a choice. Are you enjoying your choice?”

  I hummed, arching up as he pressed two fingers as deep as possible.

  “Use your words.”

  With a slow deep breath, I made myself relax. “It’s uncomfortable. Hurts. Feels weird.”

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No.”

  He kissed down my back with his fingers pinned inside me. “Let’s move onto the plug.”

  He pulled his fingers out, and I screamed. I relaxed, my body limp, letting sensation wash through me. Relief and loss. Odd.

  He opened a box, and he moved around while I closed my eyes.

  More lube.

  Adam ran a thin, long rounded point between my cheeks and pressed it inside. It widened, stretching me as he reached further in.

  “Oh fuck.” Afraid to move, I tried to relax, biting the sheet as the wide end slid inside to the lip.

  Adam went still. “Fuck, you’re doing so well.”

  The sensation settled, and I relaxed, but I throbbed where I was stretched. “Thank you.”

  He straddled my hips, and leant over me, caging me, and whispered in my ear.

  “Sir.”

  I giggled. “Sir.”

  He pressed his groin on my arse, the plug touching deeper, and I tensed, fighting for breath.

  “I can’t wait to be inside you. To fuck your arse.” He rocked his hips on me.

  “I need you. Please.”

  He laughed, a wicked sound and I grinned. He braced up, his arms under my shoulders, and I could see the patterned muscular skin in my periphery.

  His dick, hard and hot, slipped about in the lube. “You want me?”

  “Yes please, Sir.”

  He slid into me with my pussy so tight with the plug pressing against it.

  We both cried out.

  He lay back over me, gripped my shoulders and moved slowly. The intensity was unexpected, tight and exquisite, pleasure pulsed with every easy movement.

  Almost lazy, he wound me higher. The tightness was unbearable. I shook.

  He overwhelmed me. With my eyes closed, I revelled in his weight, the feel of his skin and the little noises he made as he pushed in. I pictured him above me, lost in the moment.

  I needed to move, but I couldn’t. Struggling for a breath, I grunted. He kissed my cheek. The gentle sweetness brought me back to the moment.

  “Come, Princess.”

  I did. The urge to buck and grind was held back by the man over me and the thing in my arse.

  My muscles tensed around it, and the discomfort became a gratifying sensation.

  It was too much. The noise I made was desperate and needy as my vision turned to pretty patterns, rapture flooding me.

  I’ve never come that hard or for that long. The muscles inside me went rigid, so much so that Adam cried out with me.

  Fucker didn’t speed up, didn’t give me relief but kept at that tortuous slow angle and pace. Drawing every ounce of orgasm out of me until I dry sobbed, lax and unthinking.

  He laughed. I blinked, unable up move or speak. Waves of sensitive delight kept shud
dering inside me.

  He could have done anything with me. Then he did.

  Pulling out, he moved around, and I closed my eyes before he eased the plug out. He pushed his cock in me. I needed it then. Desperate.

  He was longer than the plug, and it hurt when he pushed in.

  “Princess, I’m going to be sweet. Okay?”

  I grunted. He was sweet. Enjoying himself as he pressed his hands on my arse cheeks, squeezing them. His shallow even thrusts were enough.

  “Oh fuck, you feel... You feel...” His needy voice became a cry, and he jerked harder a few times before stilling. I felt the pulse of his cock in my arse. I felt everything.

  When he eased out, I was torn between absolute relief and aching absence.

  He removed the condom and gloves, untied me, and wiped me down, the pain echoing into a reminder of him inside me.

  He gathered me to him. Heaven.

  I nestled into his chest and pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

  “It’ll get easier and better.”

  “How can it get better than that?” I mumbled into his skin before inhaling deep, the scent of him making my mouth water.

  “We’re just getting started.”

  SPIRAL

  Most men I’ve attempted to date have the emotional maturity of a bonbon. Adam was different. We’d talked, played a little. Fucked a bit. Dated. We saw a lot of each other, talked all the time, got to know who we were.

  At the same time, we both knew there were unspoken things between us, things Adam needled at unknowingly, and he patiently waited for me to be able to tell him. It meant we were both holding back but becoming closer, and it couldn’t go on indefinitely.

  After a month of dancing about, Adam wanted to move forward, and I agreed, so I found myself being driven to a sexual health clinic. I was getting a vagina MOT because I was overdue for my smear, getting an IUD fitted, and having a sexual health check. He was getting checked too.

  He held my hand as we waited, and the nurse came out to call me through.

  My poor vag. I was sore and uncomfortable afterwards, and he took me to his. Once he helped me upstairs, he left me snuggled in bed and let me nap.

  Later, he brought me dinner, and we ate in bed watching telly. It was nice. Comfortable.